Day Three

Today was day three of my liquid diet.  I've lost 5 lbs. since I started on Tuesday.  Woot woot!  Hopefully I'm getting my liver healthy enough for surgery.  I've tried the cream of chicken soup (nasty) so I won't be buying any of that.  The chocolate pudding is pretty good but I didn't put enough water in it so it was a little thick.  600-800 calories, who'd have thought that I could do that?  Honestly, I'm craving meat and vegetables.  Only 11 more days to go.  I'm starting to get all my ducks in a row.  Getting my stuff ready for the hospital and I'll be going this weekend to stock up on protein shakes at Sam's Club.  I'm also going to get some more of the broccoli and cheese soup because I really like that.  I can't wait until I can make my own to eat.  Or get some from Panera Bread.  I've heard they have really good broccoli and cheese soup.  Their french onion soup is yummy so I'm sure their other soups are too.

Day One of Liquid Diet

The morning started out very badly.  I tried using my Premier Protein powder with water and it was nasty.  So when I got to work I blended it with some ice in a blender.  It made it a little more palatable.  I had some hot jello water around 10 then around 1 I made some chicken broth using 2 boullion cubes and hot water.  Boy did that taste good.  But when I got off work I was ready to gnaw off my arm.  So I decided to try one of the New Directions Broccoli and Cheese soups.  Oh so good and so full.  I feel so much better!  I'm getting more of those.  Since I'm pre-op I can buy them for $17.50 a box instead of $23 a box.  I'm going to be getting a few more boxes.  A friend advised that I get the Premier Protein that's ready made and drink that so I bought a box of chocolate and a box of vanilla.  I don't like vanilla so I'm going to add flavorings to those.  We'll see how that goes.  I'm going to have a chocolate one at about 9 p.m.

Today Begins The New Rest of My Life

Today was my last day of eating regular food for quite a while.  Today I had my last diet cherry coke. Today I had my last bite of chicken alfredo for a while.  It was a good day.  Hopefully tomorrow is just as good.  I bought some of the New Directions packets.  I bought two boxes of a variety pack which has 2 chocolate shakes, one vanilla shake, one strawberry shake, one hot chocolate, and one chicken soup mix.  I also bought a box of broccoli cheese soup mix.  It should add some variety to the mix.  My husband went to the grocery store and bought me some beef boullion cubes and some sugar free jello.  I also had a nutrition class and learned more about the vitamin supplements.  I thought I'd be good with taking over the counter vitamins but I don't think that's going to be a good idea.  We got samples of Celebrate vitamins.  The chewable tablets are pretty good.  They are expensive though. But in the long run I think they'll be well worth the money because I think I'm pretty vitamin deficient and these vitamins are full of what I need.  Lately my nails have become more brittle and my hair has been thinning for years.  Maybe eventually my hair problem will change.  I'll buy some after surgery because we're not supposed to start taking them for a couple of weeks after surgery.  A lady in the class today has been on the liquid diet for a week and has lost 10 lbs. so I'll be losing weight even before surgery.

My husband was talking to me tonight and I can tell that he's worried.  His mom died when he was 9 because she had a bowel blockage and then developed a blood clot after surgery which killed her. That was over 40 years ago and technology has changed a ton but surgery still scares him.  He wanted to know, if something happened to me, what to do with my craft and painting stuff and my cake decorating stuff.  I told him that I want my daughters to have first choice of my stuff and then my sisters can take what they would like.  I know it's morbid to think of dying during surgery but it has to be thought of because it can happen to anyone.  My son and I are estranged and have been so for 8 months.  I've only seen my grandchildren once in 8 months.  My grandson, who was my whole world, barely remembers me and he's 5.  It's like that bond has been broken and I don't know if I can fix it.  My son isn't even going to come to the hospital the morning of my surgery because I'm so far down on his list, which really makes me feel bad.  I've been battling these demons for the last year and a half and things finally came to a head a week after Mother's Day.

Anyway, that has been a big source of stress for a long time.  I'm a strong person and can survive most anything.  I survived my mother passing away at the age of 62 because she had COPD and wouldn't stop smoking.  A part of me died with her but I know that she'll always be with me.  I hope she would be proud of me getting this surgery that is going to save my life.  I need to be around to continue to be a mother to my daughters.  My oldest daughter is 24 and is in the Air Force and is doing great. I'm so proud of her.  My youngest daughter is 21 and is starting beauty/cosmetology school next week.  She's my wild child but I wouldn't change her for the world.  She has such a good heart, as does her sister.  I love both of them so much and I want to be around for them to see the good things they are going to do with their lives and hopefully see them get married and have families of their own.

Ok, enough mushy stuff.  When I'm healed I plan on changing jobs.  I've been at my job for almost 13 years and there is going to be a change in ownership in the spring and I don't see any new opportunities for myself.  I need a change.  It's time for a change.  Everything is going to change for me in two weeks.  So crazy!  But I'm so looking forward to all the new changes!  That's all for today! I'll let you know tomorrow how the first day of the liquid diet goes.  Have a great day!

2 Days Left of Normal Eating

I start my liquid diet Tuesday.  I'm not looking forward to it but it's something I have to do.  I've been eating some of my favorite foods because it's going to be a while before I get to have them again.  I haven't gone overboard though.  So tonight we're having Applebee's for dinner.  I always get the 4 cheese mac and cheese with the honey pepper chicken.  That's what I'm getting tonight.  Not quite sure what we'll have for dinner tomorrow.  Protein shakes, broth, jello and water.  That's what's on my menu for the next two weeks.  I'm ok with it though. I'm a strong person and this is getting me to my tool (gastric sleeve) to lose weight.  I will have a permanent tool to lose weight and I'm so excited.  I can finally be the person I've always wanted to be.  Does that sound shallow?  I've struggled with my weight for 25 years and my struggle has come to an end.

Getting Ready

Surgery is at 8:30 a.m. and I have to be there at 7 a.m.  I had my consultation with the nurse and we went over everything that needs to be done beforehand and all of the things that I'll need to bring like a robe and slippers, neither of which I have.  She also talked about getting baby spoons because using larger spoons so that my meal will last longer (30 minutes) and I won't get as full so fast.  Sounds like a good idea to me.  I go on the 7th to meet with the dietitian and she'll go over eating for after surgery.  There is so much to remember and I'm afraid that I'm not going to remember it all.  I'm going to post a picture of what I look like before surgery so we can see my progress together.  A co-worker who had the gastric bypass has been a wealth of information and she's going to help me update my wardrobe once I've lost some significant weight because up until now all of my clothes have been black or brown.  I've tried to stay away from patterns and colors as most overweight women do.  I don't want to dress trashy but I'd like to have one sexy outfit.  But since I work in an office I'd like to be more updated.  Choices are limited when you're overweight.  You wear black or brown or look like a circus tent.  No thank you.

I have been approved for surgery and have my date set!  Excited and nervous at the same time.  My surgery date is December 22, which is a Tuesday.  Everything is set for work.  I work at an attorney's office as the accountant/office manager.  I'm taking two weeks off.  I'm hoping that's enough time but if it's not I get three more weeks off after the first of the year.  I'm working on getting all of my ducks in a row.  Buying my vitamins, unflavored whey powder, bought a Nutribullet RX (giant machine!) for my smoothies and soups.  It actually heats the soup up!  Technology is wonderful!  I can remember when the first bullet came out.  We bought one and had some really good fruit smoothies. I forgot to mention that they are taking my gall bladder out too because I have gallstones and I've watched "My 500 lb. Life" and have seen them have to go back in and take the gall bladder out and I don't want to have two surgeries.

I go December 1 to talk to my doctor's nurse so she can give me instructions on what to do before surgery.  I go December 7 for a class on eating after surgery.  Then the next day I start my liquid diet. I have to admit that I'm not looking forward to liquids for two weeks.  I know the protein shakes will keep me full but....boring!  I know it's for the best - to shrink my liver and I plan on sticking to it.  I don't want anything to go wrong with the surgery.  I have too much living to do.  My daughter plans on taking me to one of the festivals she goes to.  I'm so excited to have a second chance at life.  I will not squander it or take advantage of my second chance.  I will follow everything the doctor tells me to do.  I love water so getting my daily quantity of water in shouldn't be a problem.  My only vice that I'm still trying to break is my addiction to diet cherry coke.  I love it!  And after surgery I won't be drinking any at all so I'm trying to limit myself to one a day.  I know I can do it.

My other daughter will be home for the entire two weeks I'll be off so after Christmas I plan on going down to where she lives, about an hour and a half away, to spend some time with her so she can take care of me.  She'll be leaving for Florida until April so I have to get as much time in with her as possible.

I have a son also who has two children.  The relationship is strained right now and I don't get to see my grandbabies and have only seen them once in 6 months which has been a big source of stress for me because my grandson, who is 5, and I were so close.  I've been there for him since he was born and love them so much.  Miscommunication and misunderstandings have been the source of the problems.  Hopefully after surgery I'll get to see them more.  I want to do more with them now that I'll be able to.

I've been buying smaller clothes, mostly shirts.  Not too much smaller but I don't want my clothes hanging off of me before I get a chance to buy new ones.  Argh!!  I don't know how this is going to go and how quickly I'm going to lose the weight so it's hard to prepare.  I do own a sewing machine and can take a lot of my clothes in, especially the ones I really like.  I get blood work done on Monday.  I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and I plan to eat as much turkey as I can especially since I can't have Christmas dinner.  One dinner is good enough for me.  Hopefully I'm out of the hospital by Christmas day but if I'm not my family will bring Christmas to me.  I'd like to get a little Christmas tree for my hospital room just to keep me cheery if I'm still there on Christmas day.

Nervous

As of Monday, the rest of the paperwork has been submitted to the insurance company.  Now we just play the waiting game.  Hopefully they don't take too long and I'll have a date soon.  I have IBS so it's really been playing hell with my system because of all the stress and worrying.  Yesterday and today it's only been broth and jello for me because I feel so crappy.  Hopefully once I get a date I can relax.  Our office Christmas party is on December 12th and I won't be able to eat anything because I'll be on the 2 week liquid diet. That's really going to suck because I enjoy our holiday party.  Then the next week my husband's family is getting together for their annual Christmas party.  I'll either close to surgery or already have had it (hopefully). This stress has to stop though.  At least I'll be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner!